On Marriage and Consummation

One of the problems with marriage today is that one does not view the conception of marriage as taking place at consummation. Traditionally, premarital sex has been viewed to be premarital only in that natural intercourse takes place before a couple publicly commits to a life-long relationship in what I term a de jure marriage. However, I propose that the term “premarital sex” should be revised and be called “de facto marriage” that begins at natural consummation. I define natural consummation as involving a man and woman in a coital action that makes possible the creation of another human. (Homosexual sex does not make possible the consummation of marriage since natural coital action is not possible. Therefore, there is no such thing as homosexual marriage.)

From experience, it is empirically evident that a strong bond forms between couples that perform natural consummation. This natural bond, even if resisted or denied, connects the couple intimately for a lifetime like no other act.

Today, a consequence of creating multiple de facto marriages for one person through natural consummation is that de facto divorces take place a similar amount of times, assuming the de facto marital relationship ends. After a long string of de facto marriages and divorces that artificially break the strongest natural bond known to man, the desensitizing effect of multiple de facto divorces carries over to the de jure marriage. If one so chooses to have a de jure marriage, that is, a marriage in which a couple also publicly commits to a life-long relationship, it is much easier to break up the de jure marriage in divorce after a long line of desensitizing de facto marriages and divorces. Effectively, de jure marriage becomes the final de facto marriage in a long line of de facto marriages from which divorce is a habitual consequence.

The solution to this problem of seeing de facto marriage and divorce as “no big deal” is to return to traditional courting. Instead of creating a de facto marriage, the couple should get acquainted with each other in non-physical or limited physical terms first. Only after proving that the other is honorable and compatible in non-physical terms should a relationship go forward to engagement and de jure marriage. (A couple can together learn about physical relations later in de jure marriage.) Couples should not live together until de jure marriage so that they are not highly tempted to create a de facto marriage in case the relationship must end before the de jure marriage.